Friday, December 2, 2011

it's a bright guilty world


Congress bridge at home in Austin at dusk.



Have I mentioned how much I love Austin?  Because I love it.  It has both the most music and the most Mexican Free-tail bats in the nation.  Okay, only the second one is actually vouched for.  But still!  Pretty awesome.

When I was little and we lived in Houston, my dad would come up to Austin all the time for business trips.  We would always go to Zilker Park and then go see the bats and that was pretty much my whole view of Austin—killer playgrounds with seal statues you could pretend to ride, and bats everywhere all the time.

Being home was the best even if it did mean I stayed up ALL NIGHT watching reality television and reading my brother’s scary books about the Amazon and researching shark-diving companies for reasons that will be explained later in this post.

Anyway: the future.

I received the official job offer in my mailbox today which means:

1.     I didn’t just dream it and think it was true and then tell everyone.  (WHAT IF THAT HAPPENED.)
2.     I am asking for all business attire and professional lady accessories for Christmas instead of, like, comic books and silent German films.*

That’s pretty much it, actually.

Here’s my job:

I will be a systems integration analyst for Accenture in their San Francisco office. 

San Francisco.  Obvi.


Here’s what it says I will be doing on the website:

“Systems Integration Consulting involves working in teams with other knowledgeable and highly skilled individuals, which makes for an enjoyable and productive environment. You will likely work on complex projects for international companies. They will look to you to help them define their needs and then design and implement adaptable yet predictable and easy-to-maintain solutions that support their strategic business imperatives.”

Which is all very vague which they tell me is de rigueur in consulting.

Basically I’m a baby consultant.  In a few years if it all goes okay I’ll be a real
consultant.  I’ll go around places and learn things and then in a few years tell other people what to do.

I have been reluctant to post about it because literally I have the same superstitions of like a third century pagan hedge-witch (whaat where did that analogy come from?  I have a lot of superstitions, is what I mean) and I was afraid that if I posted about the job it would somehow jinx it and the offer would be rescinded.

So here’s hoping it’s still valid tomorrow.

Anyways: San Francisco!  I’ve been there twice and it’s extremely lovely.  I researched it online and I was reminded of a fact that I had repressed after reading The Devil’s Teeth.   Instead of bats, it has the most and/or biggest (I forgot) great white shark population in the nation ever. EVER. 

And they are friendly!  You can pet them!


I pretty much have what I assume millions of people share because for sure something weird fuels Shark Week, and what David Foster Wallace pretty aptly named “an atavistic shark fetish.”  Like, I have regular nightmares about these guys.

I don't know why.  He's smiling!  He's all, like, OH HI!!!


Nope, I guess I wasn’t going anywhere with that. 

Anyway:  SAN FRANCISCO!!  

The setting of many a film noir.



In whose Chinatown the finale of one of my favorite movies takes place.

I am kind of flashing back to my Orson Welles phase and cringing, also. 



 So it should be fun and I'm excited and hopefully I'll swim with sharks and have dramatic sexy shootouts in halls of mirrors.


*Hahaha like I didn’t also ask for comic books and silent German films.